Passion for Piano

The passion I have for piano started when I was around 8 or 9 years old. My first contact with the piano was when I went to visit a family friend and saw the piano for the first time. Their daughter was in the musical school at that time and so when I heard the sound of the piano for the first time I was mesmerized and I thought to myself, wow how amazing. From that moment on I knew I wanted to play the piano, I felt this immediate and amazing connection with the instrument and at first I didn't understand the reason behind. So I started talking my parents into registering me into a musical school. As I insisted my parents thought it was just something I would do for a while and then grow out off but it wasn't. At the time I had different hobbies like sports and my parents thought me playing the piano would be one of them. I was persistent and after 2 years I was received into the musical school and that's how my journey with the piano started. When I got accepted to take the entry exam my parents started to second guess because they thought the piano would be a very expensive instrument. So my mum asked me if I would consider trying other instruments like the flute, not like they were any cheaper but I made it clear that I really didn't want to try other instruments because of the connection I already had with the piano.

My journey with the piano started to take form when I was in primary school because it is then that I started pushing myself to play. For instance after a piano lesson, my instructor would give me an assignment of playing two pieces but instead of playing only two I would play 4 pieces by myself because I was very ambitious and I really loved it. To me it wasn't just a current hobby or ambition, it was something really important to me at that time. The only disadvantage I had at was that nobody really believed that I really wanted to play. So later on in my fifth or sixth grade the teacher recognized my talent and he suggested that I go for a competition that was happening and I ended up winning it. This enabled me join the musical school in High school and while I was there the teachers were literally asking me whether I wanted to join their class. There were different teachers that gave piano lessons and so it was really crucial whose class I joined because it would determine my future. It is very important whose steps you are following. Of course my love for piano was the igniting factor to win but understanding that I wanted to take this piano business to a whole new level started when I won that competition.

Living in Istanbul actually resulted into me neglecting the piano a bit. In my early days here I lived in different places where I wasn't able to play but despite not being able to play the feeling when I touch the piano never faded away.

When I graduated in 2013, it was the happiest and the saddest moment of my life. Sad because I was done with one chapter of my life. Everything I was able to accomplish up until now was by the direction of my instructors and they encouraged me by telling me that from that point onwards I was able to play and do whatever I wanted. They also made it clear that what awaited me in the future of the path I wanted to take would probably end in me studying musicology. Which meant that I'll be away from the piano, the thought of this made me feel a bit sad and gave me mixed feelings. Unfortunately when I came here that's exactly what happened. The fact that I wasn't playing the piano as much as much as I could made me delve into playing revival music (More of popular music, music for fun) which to me wasn't challenging because these are easy notes to play. I am a classical pianist especially western classical which is totally different when you compare it to playing the easy notes of popular music. Classical music is rather hard because you need to practice for 5 to 6 hours regularly in order to be good at a piece. The up side to moving here was that I was able to learn a new language, meet different people but when it comes to me playing the piano it was kind of a setback. So on that note I am a bit disappointed but I know it's never too late to change because I don't want to waste my time especially when it comes to the piano. I don't want to just get a job and work, I want to continue with piano and pick up from where I left 5 years ago. I know for sure I have made some progress in the 5 years here especially by playing in many concerts and meeting very important people and networking with people. In that regard I feel happy but I still want to go to a higher level, something bigger in order to peruse a pianist carrier.

I have had different offers in different fields where I have been able to apply myself and also gain experience but I didn't have any passion for any of it. Piano is the only thing I feel passionate about. I don't want to abandon the one thing that makes me feel happy in this world. When I am playing the piano I feel happy.

Playing the piano is a mixture of my heart beat and the sound that comes from the piano.

What actually gets me nervous is when the audience is attentively listening to me. It give me this sense of responsibility concerning what I am doing. There’s this pressure that I have to do my best and at the same times you need to train your mind into not letting the pressure stop you. When you focus on all the people who are listening to you it becomes distractive .The other side of me when I play tries to believe that the audience listening will support me, that they will be the wind on my back which gives me motivation in one way and also it gives me power to play and deliver in the best way.So there two sides of being exited when I play. One is excited, afraid and uncertain about what I am doing and the other is the excitement I feel when I am being supported because the people I am playing for came to listen to me.

I have played at many concerts so far but my last concert in June was a highlight I would say. It was very joyful because people were so excited and so they kept inviting us back on stage many times.I played very well because I felt very secure and confident which was proved by my playing because of all the practice. I was ready to play before the audience which gave me a feel of satisfaction. This was the best so far because it was stress free and also because I was sharing the concert. That helped because I wasn't the center of attention so I was less responsible. My colleagues were very enthusiastic and the audience loved us. They weren't the kind of audience who comes to judge your performance but rather to support, which is a very important part of concerting.

When it comes to art you cannot force it. Art is something that is invoked in you, in your mind and in your heart and if that doesn’t appear then don't look for it .You can be educated, you can learn, you can see how things are and you can love it but you can't live art if you are not meant for it.